Single in the City

Anonymous asked: Why do indian people do that head wobble? Is it yes, no, maybe, i dont know?

It’s all three rolled into one easy head motion. Next time look carefully - its not the head motion, but the speed of the wobble and the facial expression that are the real ‘yes, no, maybe’ giveaway!  

And its addictive..you know you’ve caught yourself doing it too..!!

xoxo

Gupshup Girl

‘Horror’scope Blues

As a general rule, I like to think that my parents are normal, rational people. But I guess like all normal, rational people, even my parents sometimes crack under pressure. It was during one of those momentary lapse of rationality, that my dad got in touch with one of his astrologer friends about me and my perpetual single status. After all even my cousin’s kids are getting married!!! This is what he had to say….

“Your daughter has Mars and Saturn as occupants of her first house (self - describing personality). Although this combination makes a person very smart, it also makes them very ambitious. This is combined with Mercury as Lord of the first house - a person who takes quick decisions. There is unfortunately no dominance of Jupiter. This combination suggests that her decisions are sometimes not well thought, very quick and instantaneous. Though she may believe that these are the best and it should be like that only. In her spouse’s house (7th house), Moon occupant, but Jupiter Lord of 7th house with Saturn as star-lord. Her husband will be just opposite in nature to that. A very wise person (Jupiter), but taking decisions by thinking a lot (Saturn), and that may irritate her and may bring dis-harmony. Sometimes these are very small things, but you know how these young children are. So you have to continue to give her advises and support, and keep on telling her what is good, and she should try to listen her husband carefully. If she listens you properly, I think she is will have excellent married life. But sometimes these things are easier said than done.”

So now, I have to spend the rest of my life listening to my parents and my husband - thanks a lot Mr. Horror-scope Man!

The Beginning

Every time a child is born into an Iyer family, one of the most important things is to note the exact time of birth. There is no room for error here – as this exact time (down to the second) determines the position of the planets (yes – the ones in the sky) at the moment of birth. 

The elders in the family then head off to the family astrologer who then uses the exact time and location of birth (latitude, longitude etc. etc.), and does a whole lot of complicated mathematical calculations to lay out the astrological chart for the kid. This chart is essentially your holy grail. 

Imagine your entire life being charted out into two little square blocks which are examined and calculated every time an important life decision is to be made. If you see an Indian person a charm around their neck, or a variety of rings on each of their fingers, it’s possibly because the celestial beings are not in harmony and they need to be appeased. This could also include making a pilgrimage to a far away temple, fasting 2 days a week, giving milk to the Snake God  etc etc (the list goes on and on and on)…

Although some families still consult astrologers on a regular basis, the highest demand for their profession these days is to match horoscopes of prospective brides and grooms. As modern as most Indian parents are, when it comes to their children’s marriages – they usually prefer the traditional route. 

When parents think that their child has reached “marriageable age”, they dust off the ole horoscope and mass distribute it.  Within days, every aunt, uncle, cousin, family friend, will have multiple copies of your horoscope to distribute to anyone who might know someone who knows someone that has an unmarried son/grandson/nephew…you get the point. We Indians love a wedding, and to be the one who passes on the horoscope to the winning groom wins you a lifetime of bragging rights!   

So anyway – back to arranged marriages. Matching the horoscopes of the future bride and groom is usually the first step in a traditional Indian marriage. I suppose you can call this the first level of filtering your prospects. Matching the horoscopes assesses compatibility of the couple. The horoscopes are matched on various parameters - some of which include character, attraction, child bearing, sexual chemistry etc etc. A point system is linked with each parameter, and if the compatibility score is over 50%, you get the go-ahead from the Gods. 

This is the beginning of the process, and I have it on good authority that my horoscope is currently making its rounds. I wonder what the Man in the sky has in store for me. 

If you are curious about your astrological chart, there are various sites available online – but here is one I found was pretty good.

http://www.planetarypositions.com/birthchart.html

xoxo 

Gupshup Girl

Who am I??

There comes a time in every girl’s life when she starts thinking about love, marriage and the happily ever after.
 
I belong to a traditional South Indian family. Our community – ‘Iyers’ are knows for our excessively long and tongue twisting last names, rituals and the software engineers we churn out (ask any Indian – and they’ll tell you all about the South Indians in Microsoft, Google and Oracles of the world).
 
India is possibly one of the few countries in the world that divides up marriages into “Arranged marriages” and “Love marriages”. If you hear about an upcoming Indian wedding – the first question that comes to mind is whether it was ‘arranged’ or ‘love’. Upon hearing that a marriage was a ‘love’ match, there are the inevitable questions of romance, and proposals…and often family feuds where in the end love conquers all.
 
And for those of us who are unsuccessful in finding our life partners on our own – there is the inevitable option of an ‘arranged marriage’. Notice – that being single is NOT an option.
 
I am 28 years old and still single. By Indian standards, I am well past my peak and one step away from being put on the shelf. I have become ‘THAT’ cousin that all my aunts and cousins talk about – and everyone has taken it upon themselves to get me married before I reach my expiry date – the Big 30!
 
Having grown up outside of India for most of my life, I just figured I’d come around to getting married when the right man came along. Some men did come along, although the right one never did. The prospect of an arranged marriage never appealed to me, but as I grow older and attend yet another wedding and baby shower, the idea doesn’t seem quite as preposterous anymore.
 
So here I am - jumping in headfirst and exploring the deep waters of an arranged Indian marriage.

xoxo

Gupshup Girl